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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Teasing at studio


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Hi all -thanks for this great board.

My son is in a program at a small ballet school. He is the only boy in his age group and has danced with the same small group of girls for several years now. He is ten this year. Each year they do stage exams where they are partnered with another child  for a short dance. It's not partnering as such  more dancing together but he does 'assist' (not sure of the proper term) the girl off-stage. For the last couple of years he has been partnered with the same girl. They dance really well together but teasing by the other girls (they love each other type of thing) has started to be a problem. He looked embarrassed onstage interacting with her which is totally new for him.

Anyone else had this problem? Do they grow out of it? I'd hate to see it mar his experience. He loves dancing. 

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What would your son like to do? Would he like to dance with other girls too or by himself at this point? Liking someone is a sensitive thing at this age. Maybe it's worse if he fancies the girl he's dancing with. 

Maybe the other girls would like to dance with your son too? One of my sons dance teacher mentioned me once, that "I think all the girls in the class has a crush on him"...

Also, when a boy and a girl are dancing well together on the stage, it really looks like they love each other. The other girls may don't know that yet, and it's easy to believe that is a real thing between the dancing couple. 

Hopefully you can discuss with the teacher about these things. She/he knows the group she/he is dealing with, and may tell you, why your son is dancing with the same girl over and over again.

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I think it is very normal at this age for many boys and girls to become uncomfortable with any perceived intimacy. I would talk to the teacher, and I would also try to find a low-pressure way to ask your son how he felt. Maybe the teacher will reconsider whether he should be "dancing with" another girl, or if he is, make sure its more evenly distributed and not just one pairing. My son is almost 13 and he is just now starting to relax slightly about the whole idea of dancing with girls. He has been in a boys program so the opposite issue, he is used to having no girls in class and has to adjust his mindset when he is working with girls! But I have seen him become very awkward with girls he knows well, and also to become a lot more self-conscious in general. I would say right around age 9 or 10 I was noticing it a lot more. 

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Oops, a post was hidden because this is a forum for parents of boys.... We know that the new format of the website isn't always easy to navigate, but remember to be mindful which forums you are posting in. :flowers:

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Thanks all, I mentioned this to one of his teachers. She said she always puts them together because they dance so well together. She said that she would put him with different girls so maybe that will ease the problem. I just hope they all grow out of it as they get older. One of my sons best friends at school is a girl so he can relate to girls without embarrassment hopefully it's mostly the age they all are. 

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