Adult Advanced Dancer?

[Carla101]

Well Hi

I'm carla from cairo, Egypt!

I remember watching swan lake when I was 8 and ever since that day I fell in love with ballet but back then the age range to start ballet was from 4 to 6 years old so I couldn't find a studio where I could start training as a ballerina and 10 years later I decided to put an end to this and actually start my ballet training.

I'm 25 years old now and I've been dancing ballet since I was 18 as far as I remember. 

Of course when you start dancing at this age they tell you not to put your hopes high but I did and couple of years later (without any professional training and exerting the slightest effort) I managed to pass my audition to the corps de ballet in the opera house company about a month ago and I was the only accepted dancer out of all the candidates. Which I was extremely excited and proud of till I started the real training and I was shocked 😲 

It wasn't long before I started noticing my body limitations. I mean the other girls are way more flexible than me, They're fit, they know exactly what they're doing like they were born to dance while I struggle to keep my turnout, developpes and straight posture.

It's very depressing when the director is always sending me to the back as if he's trying to hide my obvious deadly mistakes. I know that it takes talent to reach where I got now especially that I never received any professional training but from the feedbacks I get it started to feel like it was just my luck that got me here! I I also can't fit in with the other girls I think I'm the oldest ( and worst) dancer in the company.

I have a very busy schedule because I also have 2 jobs and masters so I can barely practice for extra hours.

It certainly is becoming very hard for me to remember why I fell in love with ballet from the first place it started feeling like the first day to school every single ballet rehearsal I can't get the quitting idea out of my mind and I started skipping it because the whole situation is making me uncomfortable and overthinking 24/7 but I also don't want to waste the amazing opportunity to be an adult beginner in corps de ballet.

I just need to know what to do but I can't decide! Is there any chance I can be that extremely flexible and balanced as other dancer or should I just quit? 

Edited November 14, 2017 by Carla101

[Hummingbird]

Does it have to be all or nothing?

[Carla101]

I'm not sure I got [your] point? 

Edited November 15, 2017 by dancemaven
Removed text-speak per BT4D Rules and Policies.

[BalletFamily]

Carla101, congratulations on your success!  And I mean that.  You've done the near impossible.  You started dancing as an adult and now, just 7 years later, you're a professional.  Seriously, that's incredible.  I don't know anyone else who's done that.

The company chose you because they wanted you.   Maybe you're not as good as the other women (and that's not a given), but you're good enough.  And that is saying a lot.  Few dancers will ever be good enough for a company.  You're in the back because you don't have any professional training or the experience of the other dancers.  But trust me they wouldn't have accepted you if they didn't think that, with their training and some time, you'd get even better than you are now.  I also bet that you are not the only dancer there who feels like she isn't good enough, who feels like what seems so easy for others is incredible work for her.

Only you can say if this is all worth it.  I urge you though to see it through.  Give it all you can, learn as much as you can, and enjoy the experience.  It will be a lot of work but it should be rewarding, whether you're still a professional dancer in 5 years (or 1 year) or not.  Congrats again!

[Carla101]

Thank you so much for your kind words and motivation you made me very excited to prove to myself and everyone else that I did a tremendous progress once and I can do it again everyday  I know [you are] right and since I wrote this post I felt like I was just surrounding myself with negative thoughts and I was so ashamed for not dedicating myself more and more to ballet so I started a little research to find places where I can practice whenever I have the time and I'm starting in less than 10 hrs from now! 

Thanks again <3 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 17, 2017 by dancemaven
Edited to use full words, not text-speak per BT4D Rules and Policies

[Coriander9]

Carla101

I'm a similar age--27 and started dabbling in ballet at 20 and then more seriously at 25 after quitting (for financial reasons) at 8--and I have got to admit this is so inspiring! I know it's tough but wow you've really done the impossible.
It reminds me of this quote; “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.”--T. Roosevelt