MDPointe Posted July 16, 2020 Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 For those who have taken the plunge with a 13 or 14 year old, did the experience for your dancer end up the way they were hoping it would? Would they have waited in retrospect? We are just beginning to have these conversations and it is overwhelming! Quote Link to post
Bekah21 Posted July 16, 2020 Report Share Posted July 16, 2020 We took the plunge last year with our 14 year old. She was glad she did and did not return home. Her move did end up with the entire family relocating. However that was due to us she left behind and not her. She thrived in her program and would not have changed her mind. In fact with COVID now, I don't know if she would have been given the opportunity to move this year. So in hindsight it was the best for her. However I will say the student needs to be mature. Able to get up by themselves and get to where they need (even living with a host family or in dorms), troubleshoot or have a good support system (we lived remotely through a tropical storm with DD), do laundry, minor cooking, manage online schooling. I have heard some kids don't do as well as others so you really need to know the kid and the situation they will have with schooling, housing, supervision, etc. Quote Link to post
MDPointe Posted July 17, 2020 Report Share Posted July 17, 2020 Thank you Bekah21! Interestingly enough the COVID situation and the need to be home in our bubble has enabled my DD to have time to learn some great cooking and other household skills that I would’ve previously worried about. Quote Link to post
Ballet6706 Posted July 17, 2020 Report Share Posted July 17, 2020 We took the plunge with a young 13 year old. She lives with a host family. It’s been an amazing experience. We built a relationship with the studio over a few summer intensives so when she transitioned, she already had friends waiting for her. On the other hand, we know another child same age, different host family and it was a nightmare. She wasn’t ready. I think at age 13 it is largely dependent on the kid and their personality. My DD is now 14 and I’m blown away at how much more she has matured since last summer. Quote Link to post
Ballet6706 Posted July 17, 2020 Report Share Posted July 17, 2020 Besides the cooking and laundry, there are a lot of conversations that happened at our kitchen table. Eating healthy. Self care. Medicine when you are sick. Inappropriate behavior by adults (especially in host family situations). What to do when you are uncomfortable. How to clean a shower. Your first period, what to do. How to advocate for yourself (because we aren’t there). The issue of money and financial responsibility. How to use a debit card. These are just a few issues. I’m not there to remind her of many of these things. We had a year to prepare for this transition. Thankfully. But these conversations still come up when we are together. Communication is so very important. Quote Link to post
MDPointe Posted July 17, 2020 Report Share Posted July 17, 2020 Thank you Ballet6706. You just gave me a wonderful start to a list of topics to talk about while we start planning for this that I can add to as things come to mind! Quote Link to post
Derin's Mom Posted July 17, 2020 Report Share Posted July 17, 2020 hello My DD was 14 when she moved abroad, from Tr to Fr. Even though she spoke the language to a degree it was a very difficult experience for her. She tried for 4 months and decided to come back. She now sees it as a great experience yet still carries the stress it has caused. But she says she will definitely try it elsewhere where a more international system is provided. We feel lucky that she was back cause with Covid things would have gotten more difficult on her side, being alone there. To say it short, every program has its own pros and cons. But any new step helps them to mature even though it may not last long. Quote Link to post
DDballetmother71 Posted August 15, 2020 Report Share Posted August 15, 2020 Hello. Our DD took the plunge at 14. Moved away from TX to FL. I worried she was too young but she handled being away beautifully and has been back each year. This will be her Junior year and is currently 16. My daughter at 14 was very mature and independent. She knew how to cook and do her own laundry and grocery shop. I think that made it easier on her to adjust being away from home. She knew what she wanted and knew she needed something more focused, more serious and to be around other students that wanted the same as she did. This was her reasoning of going off so early. It’s not easy sending her away every fall but we have zoom and FaceTime. I see her at holidays and spring break and we fly in for her shows sometimes. It is definitely a huge transition but it has been worth it for her training and possible future career where ever this takes her. Quote Link to post
Mdballetmom Posted August 18, 2020 Report Share Posted August 18, 2020 My daughter moved away to a residential program at 14 (7 hours away) and is now 19 and is now dancing 3000 miles away! During her high school years we witnessed a number of young dancers struggle being away from home. Maturity to manage the tasks (laundry, food, time management, etc) are important, but equally important is a level of emotional maturity. Navigating social situations can be challenging for many students.... piling that on top of a rigorous dance curriculum can be challenging. And I think most of us whose kids went away only did it because there were not any equivalent or even viable local options. If, we had the same level of instruction available locally, then my dancer would not have moved away. Quote Link to post
FormerRWBmom Posted August 25, 2020 Report Share Posted August 25, 2020 Mine was very independent and mature. Very self assured and confident. Knew how to organize, laundry, self care, advocate. I was sure they would be fine. We wanted to support the “dream”. it did not end well, shattered self now therapy bills and trying to rebuild. If I could redo anything in my life it would be not sending mIne away. There are so few years, enjoy them!! I wish I had. Quote Link to post
Administrators mom2 Posted August 25, 2020 Administrators Report Share Posted August 25, 2020 I'm so sorry to hear that your family is having to deal with this, FormerRWBmom. Virtual hugs to you. Quote Link to post
FormerRWBmom Posted August 25, 2020 Report Share Posted August 25, 2020 5 hours ago, mom2 said: I'm so sorry to hear that your family is having to deal with this, FormerRWBmom. Virtual hugs to you. Thank you. Quote Link to post
Derin's Mom Posted August 26, 2020 Report Share Posted August 26, 2020 On 8/25/2020 at 11:24 AM, FormerRWBmom said: Mine was very independent and mature. Very self assured and confident. Knew how to organize, laundry, self care, advocate. I was sure they would be fine. We wanted to support the “dream”. it did not end well, shattered self now therapy bills and trying to rebuild. If I could redo anything in my life it would be not sending mIne away. There are so few years, enjoy them!! I wish I had. So sorry to hear this. I hope all turns to better in time. Quote Link to post
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