Jump to content
Ballet Talk for Dancers

Anyone taking the residence plunge this fall?


Recommended Posts

  • 2 weeks later...
  • Replies 147
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • labrador


  • Bekah21


  • beehive1


  • Derin's Mom


Bekah21 - Congrats! I wish the best for your daughter to have a successful experience! I'm glad this all worked out!


Link to comment

Bekah21--thanks for asking--no, we have not made a decision yet. I found out how she'd be placed (higher than I anticipated) but am not sure how on earth we could swing it all financially this year with two kids in college at the same time, too. No housing is offered so we'd need to find an apartment. I hate feeling like we may be holding our dancer back but it may be we have to make her wait another year. She's still not quite certain of what she wants, either. Do we push for the opportunity or make it a 15 year old's choice, knowing she sometimes needs a push out of her comfort zone? Just a tough decision, especially with needing to transition the academic side, too. I'm just overwhelmed right now. No idea if I'm even making sense anymore 😁

Link to comment

Beehive1-you are making absolute complete sense. Are there host homes there? DD is staying with a family that has dancers and they take a few dancers each academic year. I think I remember you talking about trying to commute a few days a week but it was a long drive and maybe winter driving so I'm assuming northern states. My DD is also having to transition to online so I know that it's a lot. It does help us that DD wants this and begged us to go. I don't know if I would have pushed her if she were uncertain. I think if DD can stay put and still improve over the year, the residency program will want her again. Clearly they see something they like with her. I wish I could be of more help to you. Good luck. Just know when you make a decision, try not to look back and say what if, I should have. Just make the decision that you all feel is best and if you find out differently it's okay. You have to do what is best for you at this moment in time. It's different for each kid.

Link to comment

I did ask for clarification when the director told me she'd like me to at least bring my dancer in twice a week if we do not enroll her full-time. I just can't see that working--midwest weather--and on a good day (think early Sunday morning) it's a 3 hour commute one way. On a normal day, it's a 3.5-4 hour commute, presuming we miss rush hour. In rush hour or if an accident, it will be more. In the winter, it will be white-knuckle driving. She placed in the highest level they offer. Her home studio does not seem to have the same regard for her potential and ability. So it's a tough choice for so many reasons. The director did tell me the schedule they'd want for her to attend twice a week, but it'd hamper performance opportunities for my dancer on both ends, so she'd not be able to perform this year in anything.

No host families that I know of. I'd consider moving with her, which then creates a whole new set of quick planning. 

Thank you for listening and for sharing your experiences--it's very helpful for me as we try to sort through this. I know we have a little time to decide, but it will hit quickly. My daughter was 100% on board in the first week of SI but now started having second thoughts. Pretty sure some of that is just uncertainty with missing home/siblings rather than not wanting to dance, but it's still a factor. No reason to do it if she ends up unhappy, right? Maybe next year she'll be feeling like your daughter and it will make the entire decision easier.

Link to comment

You are most welcome. I love listening to others and their stories as it helps me and everyone. Thank you for listening to me too. Good luck with the decision. I'm glad you have some time to decide still.

Link to comment

Missing family is the most difficult part of it all. And it happens usually after the first days excitement settles down.

My DD is 14 and she did her last 2 summer intensives alone abroad without my company. I know that she will feel the difficulties in the first months, where everything's new; language, culture, courses, academic requirements...

But this profession requires these early seperations since everything starts earlier than their peers in terms of career, maturity and all.

But as you say, above all if she says she cannot cope with it, after a certain period of time, home is home 🙂 and is wideopen always.

PS: I am writing all these just knowing exactly how "I" will feel in a month, missing her crazy...

Link to comment

But this profession requires these early seperations since everything starts earlier than their peers in terms of career, maturity and all

  I would respectfully disagree with this statement.  It is not universally necessary for a young dancer to leave home for a residency in order to make it to professional ranks.  It may be true depending on country or ballet desert area, but it is not a given.  Good training  and living at home with family can—and often is—available.  There are so many members on this Board that can attest to that and their stories are here for the reading.  Check out the various Congratulations threads over the years.  Those were started just so folks could see that training at home was not a dead-end option.

Link to comment

Dancemaven I could not agree more. We were looking at the residency route for DD until our studio started a very selective and intense morning program  to complement evening classes and their youth company. Although it was small, by the time DD was a senior she was receiving daily, focused 1:1 training and specific attention to her needs/growth that she was ready to take the next step dancing with a company. Her teachers helped with her resume, photos and recommendations on potential companies to consider. Her friends or colleagues from SIs who moved away had mixed results - some went on to dance professionally but others felt they were lost in the shuffle of their large residency program. I think there is no one size fits all - you have to find what works for your child and your family and sometimes it's just a big guessing game! 

Link to comment

My note refers to countries where dance environment is tight. The child has to go abroad to be a part of the dance community at an earlier age. I wouldn't be able to comment on UK or US. So as you say there is no one size fitting all. For example, my DD trains in a very good national conservatoire where education is clearly brilliant but once they graduate there is almost no job waiting for them... So, the only option for a promising kid is to open abroad.

I still believe that everything happens earlier than other proffessions due to its nature; dancers start to be on stage much earlier than for ex. a dentist practicing his/her job.

This is what I wanted to express.

Link to comment

It's always great to hear so many different perspectives and stories. I am really nervous sending my 14 DD off to residency. However she feels she is ready, my parents live close by, and we thought we would give her a shot. It's good to know that if it doesn't work she can come home. It is good to hear that some never go off and still make it. I think that it is hard to make it as a professional period. There are only so many paying jobs and so many looking. I hope that we are making the right decision, but only time will be able to answer that for us. Thank you all for sharing. I love these boards and love how people are respectful and supportive.

Link to comment


I am hoping for some help in making a decision that has to be made by Monday. It has been keeping both my husband and I up at night thinking about it!  My DD is 15 going on 16 and is training with a very well known and respected studio. Unfortunately, this studio is lacking quite a few things in the curriculum that I think are important- contemporary, partnering, and private lessons. I know there will be some of you who insist that privates are not necessary if the training is good, but I respectfully beg to differ on this matter. My DD does not even have a single variation prepared or committed to memory. We have found this to be a disadvantage for summer intensives and on the spot auditions. Another big drawback of this studio is her commute, which is 1.5 hours each way. 

DD has been offered a position at another well-known school that is an airline flight away from us. While neither school is attached to a company, this school seems to have a better curriculum and does have all those things I think are necessary for my DD's training. My DD is dying to go there! In her own words, she simply says "I just want to be really good". What makes this school unique is that they specialize in working with the dancer's flaws. Say your DD has bad feet- they work on them and teach the dancer how to best showcase their feet. If turnout is the case, they claim they help the dancer work and showcase what they have.  They do have successful dancers who have gone on to great companies and also have some up and coming "YAGP darlings". 

Financially, both schools are about the same cost. However, in the school that is away, she would be living in a nice apt. with two other girls she knows. The commute is only 11 minutes to the studio, but she would be responsible for all those things that one is responsible for when they live on their own. My DD is not a sure thing when it comes to making it in the ballet world, so I need her to have a solid plan B- college. She is an excellent student and I have no doubt that she could go to a good college of her choosing, if she wanted to. However, if she is away, all that college prep stuff would have to be done on her own, and that makes me very nervous!! 

Here is the very selfish part- we aren't ready to let her go. We also worry about her sibling and how that will impact him as they are very close. I know these factors shouldn't come in to play, but for us, they do. 

It is late here so I apologize as this is not my best writing, but I just wanted to get it out there. Looking for insight.....





Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Create New...