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PointyToes

Nervous, but wish to "talk" to other ballet parents

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PointyToes

I have 4 young dancers at various stages, 2 boys, 2 girls, and would like to compare notes with others making similar decisions.  Also curious what others' experiences regarding SIs, residence programs and local studios have been.  Thus, having read all I can find, I plan to begin posting questions.

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bbyblmrs

Hi PointyToes, MyDD is currently a junior in HS pursuing her ballet dream.  I feel that we are still learning and trying to find our way but would be happy to answer questions if I can.

 

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PointyToes

I'm not sure where to post questions about college dance programs vs dancing in a company. DD is 18, recovering from injury and missing dance.  She is active in her siblings dance 'careers' and but not sure what to do next.  DS is 15, accepted to a prestigious 3 letter school winter term in a big city, but we have reservations about the school and the dorm or lack thereof. We are not sure what to do, since there the closest training for him is 1 1/2 hours away and across the border.  Its a lot of driving and waiting and expense.   

Can we use the names of schools or people for clarity, or must we beat around the bush to convey information but retain anonymity of the institution and individuals?

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bbyblmrs

There is so much information on this forum.  The best place for you to start is probably searching to see if anyone has asked the questions you want to be answered.  There are categories for each schools college program and the summer intensive program. My daughter wanted to move into a year-round ballet program and this forum was like my wikipedia.   

The rules are at the opening page of the forum and you are supposed to keep it all fairly anonymous.  However, if you go to a named school or college forum page and ask a question it becomes clearer.  You won't be able to direct message people until you have been here a while and posted a number of times but people are fairly forthcoming.  Search on the schools name and if it's a big one there will pages of comments for you to read.

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bbyblmrs

Pointy Toes there is a member called 'Boydancermom' if you search on her you will see that she has asked/commented on a number of pages looking for schools and SI for her son.  It might be worth reading some of the conversations she was involved in. I was like a deer in head lights when I first started on here and a lot of the questions she asked made sense and were a starting point for me.

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dancemaven

Pointytoes, Welcome to BT4D!  We are glad you have found us and look forward to getting to know you and your dancers’ journeys and for your participation in our various forums and discussions.

As members have suggested, please do review our Rules and Policies and I always encourage folks to spend some time nosing around the site to see what all we offer, how we do things, and get the hang of our discussion group.  It is a wonderful group with much insight and experience to share!  Please pour yourself a pot of coffee or tea, pull up a comfy chair, and spend some time scrolling through our various forums, dropping in on threads that catch your fancy or attention, and read along.  Feel free to add to existing threads as you feel pertinent. We only ask that one be judicious in bringing up “old” threads from many years ago.  :wink:

I also would suggest that you add to your “Interest in Ballet” designation that you do have sons who dance.  There are a few restricted forums for designated demographics, Parents of Boy dancers being one of those.  It will be easier for you to post in that forum if your profile indicates you have a son who dances.  :D

Welcome and Enjoy!

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Eligus

Please don't be "nervous" -- I'm not sure where your potential discomfort stems from, but I have found that by large majority, the people on this Board are courteous and generous.  There is no (and I mean zero) "mean" or impolite on-line behavior.  From my perspective, we've all struggled with this journey at different points. 

As to your question about keeping things somewhat "vague" -- this is a public forum and ballet is a small world.  If, for example purposes only, I were a parent struggling with the decision a teacher or artistic director of a particular school or company made about my child, and I were asking for advice on how *I* handle that decision, how *I* think about it, what *I* should do (or not), I'm not sure I would want the parent of another child who may also attend that school (small world, remember), assuming things, deciding things or doing things "on my behalf", so to speak. 

There is a post somewhere about the "veil of anonymity" that discusses this topic that you may find helpful.

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nynydancer

4 dancers!  Wow!  I have a girl and a boy, and yeesh that's already a lot.  You are in the right place.  Welcome.  I would be lost without Ballet Talk.  Looking forward to getting to know you more!

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mcjagger

Welcome. If you have a specific question, ask away!

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PointyToes

Thank you for the welcome!I am not sure if anyone I know posts on this site, but we were fairly well known in our local circle and the kids (all 4) stand out on stage.  We left our former studio under less than ideal circumstances so I hesitate to say to much, but I am trying to figure out what to do next for them.  DS1 definitely needs to go away and we thought he was this fall but at the last minute it fell through.  there younger ones just love to dance.  

I have spent a week reading all kinds of threads trying to glean information with out having to register and ask myself, but without a trusted instructor I am doing a lot of research and have many questions.  

I included in my profile the boys so I can post in the parents of boys forum.  :)

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Noodles

PointyToes, most of us honor the 'veil of anonymity' we all share as much as we are comfortable. It is easy to piece together the picture of any given scenario with out knowing the name of the school or the players in question. A lot of what is discussed here is universal, evaluating colleges, training programs, pros and cons of sending a child away to train, summer intensives, handling casting disappointments, jealousy in the studio, difficult teachers, career paths, etc .

You can search for specific terms and phrases to find specific info, then jump into those conversations and they will revive, people will  chime in to share their knowledge. If you can't find a topic, then start a new thread. Ask away, we all are on the same journey 🙂

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Eligus

I, too, just lived through a "last minute, falling through" experience, as well as leaving a local studio and searching for a "what next."  Those experiences are very tough to navigate as a parent, and I found the advice on here very helpful, just so I could get my head straight and keep my perspective on the long journey, and actually try to search out what my DD needed and which training would help her find that.

It sounds as if your most pressing problem is your DS1, especially if he is your eldest (?).   I don't have a DS, but I am positive that forum will have a ton of helpful information for you.

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PointyToes

Elisgus, you are correct. DS1 is our most pressing problem. What to do with him? Where to send him? How hard will it be this year?  Ugh. I thought we had this figured out and everything was taken care of and set.  Thank goodness for the information on this site and the willingness of people to extend a (digital) hand.

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Eligus

I'm not sure how old your DS1 is, but (if you haven't already), start with the "finding a prepro school" forum to get an idea of what various dancers (and parents) are considering as "important" -- ask yourself where or if those elements are something you and yours should consider.  And take a look also at the "training guidelines" post pinned somewhere.  You should then have a "list" of sorts of "things to consider."

I've also found it extremely helpful to seek out a 3rd party analysis from an educated and reputable instructor to give you an idea of where your DS1 is in his training, and his weaknesses and strengths.  You should also do that analysis with your DS1, but it's helpful to have that confirmed with a knowledgeable, unbiased source.

Then you'll need to go back to the "finding a prepro" forum and search through it to think about which schools/training might be a good fit for his individual needs. 

I'm outlining just a process because no one on here (or anywhere) can "tell" you what to do.  It's very much an individual journey. 

Good luck!  And please, feel free to ask as many questions as you'd like.  We really are on this journey together.

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twinkletoes1

We too are struggling with the issues of our studio.  Can anyone tell us how to find an independent instructor in our area when we, the parents, know absolutely no one in the ballet world!  We're very concerned about finding a school that is not social dance but serious classically as our dancer wishes to pursue dance if possible. How do we connect with others in our area and yet maintain our anonymity here?  Thank you!

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