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Ballet Talk for Dancers

Changing studios...again


txballetmom

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txballetmom

Last year we left a studio we helped start due to some pretty toxic circumstances and some bullying by teachers.  We found a wonderful place to land and it has helped my youngest to recover.  My older two while dancing a little has bowed out of the ballet scene for the most part.  Last month, her YAGP coach quit leaving the studio in the lurch.  We returned yesterday to find the advanced level decimated and the owner retiring in January.  We cannot wait to move studios.  There is one the owner found for us and the commute is roughly the same.  I don't even know how to help my daughter navigate yet another change.  It's been one thing after another with a death of a very close music teacher earlier in the week.  Man, ballet is not for the faint of heart.  I'd rather sit in the passenger seat of my van while a teen learns to drive.  Any words of encouragement? 

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7 minutes ago, txballetmom said:

I'd rather sit in the passenger seat of my van while a teen learns to drive

I laughed out loud at this quote, since I'm currently going through this myself, and it hit quite close to home. 

But yes --- 2020 has been a doozy of a year for everyone so far.  I'm sorry for the loss of a music teacher, my kids have just gone through the same and the impact is felt.  It feels difficult to catch your breath at the speed of change and the prevalence of fear and uncertainty.  In times like this, you have to rest on what you know and have built up over the years.  Research, ask questions, test, and then make the best decision you can with the information you have, KNOWING that you have the power and ability to make things work.  You've done it before, you can do it again.  If this new, other studio doesn't work, you'll figure out what does.  You have that ability and you have the power.

You are right... ballet is not for the faint of heart.  It seems to be rife with change and uncertainty, even in the best of times, and this certainly doesn't feel like the best of times.  But ballet can also be seen as a microcosm of life, itself.  If you see change and uncertainty as a part of life that must be faced with courage and patience toward yourself, your attitude toward change will be helpful to your dancer.  Change is just change.  By it's nature (being an unknown), it's scary.  But fear doesn't need to win the day, and -- frankly -- it's not particularly helpful in the long term if it runs rampant.  Fear can cloud judgment and thinking if you allow it to run amok.  So, treat fear like an annoying relative -- part of your family that you have to deal with, but not something that needs to rule your life.

You do have the advantage this time around of having the owner recommend an alternative for you that may work logistically.  So, now is the time to buckle down on what you know, and investigate whether the alternative will work in real life.  In fact, if you shift your perspective a bit, now might be a GOOD time to investigate options that might have been out of your practical reach before Covid-19.  Many studios are conducting classes on line right now.  Your dancer might be able to experience and participate in classes virtually that she would not be able to do in person.  By that statement, I'm not trying to make light of the pandemic, or pretend there is nothing wrong or difficult about your current situation.  I'm just trying to help you all keep perspective as 20/20 as you can.  All is NOT lost.  Change is constant.  The unknown is scary, but while fear is a natural response, it does not need to be overwhelming.  And the future (and this change) may lead to BETTER options.  

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Noodles

Oh goodness, sounds like a rough year. I am so sorry for all that you and your dancer are going through. When things are tough and don't appear to be going my (our) way, I always remind myself that things happen for a reason. We might not see it now but in the future we often look back and have clarity that the hard things that happened paved the way to something better. I hope that becomes your experience. 

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txballetmom

Thank you so much, Eligus and Noodles. 

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