To perform or not perform ;-)

[svemaus]

Hi!

 

I need your advice on that psychological rather than technical topic. My pretty unprofessional school is going to have two performances in December. I’m supposed to perform two dances on each day but am not so sure if I want to do it. Although we won’t dance on pointe shoes, as no one in my group would be able to do it, I have the feeling as if we’re going to look really clumsy on stage. Until now, no-one can turn properly or finish combinations in decent positions. And, additionally, I’ve developed a serious case of stage fright as I once hit a wrong note on the piano during a recital and had to start the piece again. I was so embarrassed and have refused to go on stage ever since.

But at the same time, I don’t want to be so disloyal to my teacher and tell her that I don’t want to perform with her.

I know that the decision is up to me but I would like to hear some of your opinions as I’m really not sure whether to do it or not.

 

If I decide to do it, we are supposed to wear long tutus during the performance. Our teacher said that we can forget about wearing any underwear as the audience would see that. :eek: :confused: . She added that anyone who would be caught wearing a slip can forget the performance (“That’s the way we did it at the company I danced with”). I mean – sorry, but there HAS TO BE something to wear under our tights!!! :mad:

 

I hope that you can help me out on these two questions.

 

Thanks,

 

Svenia:)

[Victoria Leigh]

Svemaus, if the tutu is not attached to a full bodice or to trunks, then you need to get dance trunks in the same color as your tights. They are worn over the tights, not under. One never wears anything under the tights. There are dance trunks sold in most dancewear places, and they are white or pink.

 

As to the question of performning or not performing, I can understand your concern, however, ballet is a performing art and most of us train in order to perform! The longer you put it off, the harder it will become. It is usually considered the most fun part of all of the work you do, but the only way to know that is to get out there and do it!

 

The key to performing is rehearsal, of course. Just be sure that you are in the best shape possible, and have had lots and lots of rehearsals so that you are confident in what you are doing. If you really know your choreography, and have rehearsed it enough to be confident in it, then you can go on stage and enjoy being there. I say go for it!

[svemaus]

Hi!

 

Now this is a very sad announcement that I have to make: I’m going to quit ballet. As I’ve already indicated in some of my posts, I’m very unhappy at my unprofessional school, but the intense of emotional abuse towards me has increased so severely that I could cry everytime I start with the barre exercises. She treats me as if I was the most stupid person in the world when I talk to her (she passed her A-Level exams with the average grade of 1.3 and studied ballet and medicine at the same time so she thinks that she’s right no matter what) or if I was the most untalented student she ever had (I started ballet at the age of 16 in the upper intermediate group). I’m the only one in my class who tries to hold the turnout or use the right muscles, but she keeps on humiliating me anyway (“it’s about time to lose weight, don’t you think?” although I think that I’m ok). Even when I’m the only one who dances the choreography in a right way she first yells at me until she realizes that I am the only one who’s right.

Ballet isn’t fun to me anymore but is rather a torture for me. My ballet teacher destroyed my self-confidence so much that I never rely on myself when dancing but look at the others when I dance and naturally copy their wrong step; the consequence is that she shouts at me again. My doctor told me to quit ballet for a while to safe my mental health after my teachers at school realized that I had became pretty depressed. I will probably continue with ballet when I start studying at university next September; I’ll move to Düsseldorf which is a big city in Germany where there a lot of ballet schools.

 

I know that Ms. Leigh has already answered this question, but under these circumstances: should I continue to dance until the performance in December (but I’m so terrified of my teacher) or quit now and not dance (would that be disloyal?)

 

Svenia

[Victoria Leigh]

Svenia, I think it is definitely time to take yourself out of this abusive situation. When ballet is not a joy then it is not productive, and no one deserves to be abused that way. Bad training is worse than no training, and you have said before that this is not a good school.

[Mel Johnson]

Svenia, find yourself a good school, even if it means a commute! You obviously love ballet; you wouldn't be here if you didn't! For a student like you, a good school with a nurturing environment is worth the inconvenience of travel, so look around! But definitely get yourself out of your present situation - the sooner the better. Who cares if your present teacher explodes? What can she actually do to you? Nothing, that's what! Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent, so don't consent! Leave! Tell her off, if you like, and disregard her responses, but get out of there!

[svemaus]

I know, I don't want to quit ballet; dancing is what I've wanted to do all my life...but this teacher just scared me.

Well, there is one ballet school about 1h away from my hometown by train. Now that I'm in my final school year I've got less lessons so it would be possible. I've already thought about taking classes there (most of the ballet teacher are former ballet company members; some of the modern dance teachers studied at the Martha Graham school in NY). Now my main concern is that they teach Vaganova and not R.A.D. as I'm used to. My *now former* teacher said that the Russian schools destroy the dancer's bodies. Is that true or just one of her rumors? Is it so different from the Royal Academy?

[Mel Johnson]

Svenia, there are more similarities between Vaganova and RAD than there are differences - they make an attractive complement, as the Royal Ballet School has done with its own curriculum and syllabus. Your key is to find a good school with a healthy non-abusive environment. If this is the school, then by all means, go! It's not the method, after all, but the teacher that makes any system a dancer-destroyer!

[svemaus]

Ok, I think I'm going to call the other ballet school now and ask them for some ballet classes the next week just to see if I like it. If so, then I'm going to continue there, if it's just as bad as the other 2 I went to in the last 2 years, then I'll have to wait. I'm going to tell you next week how it went. I hope that I won't be disappointed again-

 

Thanks again for your help and encouragement. If I wouldn't be a member of this board, I would have already quit ballet for a long time because of all the dooly dinkle schools in my area.

 

Svenia

 

P.s.: Actually, I sent a card for you, Mr. Johnson, into the hospital, but they probably couldn't direct it to your room; they sent it back to me today ("attempted not known"). So, a belated get well soon from me ;)

[Mel Johnson]

Thanks, svenia, your good wishes aid in speeding an already successful recovery still in progress (I've never had my torso be a combination of stiff AND weak!:eek: )

 

We have a vested interest in keeping you going; you've got brains, and heart, and one like you saved from quitting is good for ballet everywhere!

[Guest Hazel]

Hi Svenia,

I'm so glad that you've decided to look at the other ballet school instead of quitting ballet all together. If you really love ballet its not worth letting one teacher ruin for you. Even if this other ballet school is no good you're bound to find a good school in Dusseldorf.

I once had a dance teaher who physically injured my ankle when I was 10 which has effected my knee and thigh and is still continuing now. I gave up because of this injury and her very bad teaching style (even though she was RAD trained/registered). So I know what it feels to like to be injured by a bad teacher but mine was a physical not emotional inury. I began again a year later with another dance school when I realised I missed dancing and my injury had recovered enough. I'm still with that school now though I shall have to find another next week as I'm moving to university on Sunday.

I'm sorry that this teacher destroyed your self confidence (I know what this feels like) but remember that deep down she's the one with the real problem. I'm guessing she must have some emotional issues that caused her to be cruel to you. Unfortunately her problem's effected you but now's your chance to change that. Try and move on from this and don't let it effect the rest of your life. Its not worth that. Take some time to find a school you're really happy with that has caring and supportive teachers that criticise constructively not cruelly. Just remember that your self confidence, happiness and well being are far more important than any cruel words your teacher can drum up. And if you don't think you can face her to tell about leaving then ask one of your parents to do it for you. There's no point letting her hurt you again.

I'm saying all this becasue I've lost my confidence in the past as well and was very unhappy for a long time. Forget the unhappiness this teacher has caused and concentrate on finding a better ballet aschool. Oh, and if you're feeling down about what's happened then watch your favourite movie with your favourite ice cream or arrange a night out with some good friends or do whatever will cheer you up and take your mind off it. Perhaps something non-ballet related.

Good luck with finding a new school and I hope this advice has been helpful and appropriate and makes sense.

[Mel Johnson]

Originally posted by Hazel

And if you don't think you can face her to tell about leaving then ask one of your parents to do it for you.  

 

Sorry, Hazel, I can endorse everything else you've suggested here, but not this course of action. If a dancer can make a decision to change schools, and the former teacher must be told, then the dancer has to do it herself. Maybe have a witness standing by to make sure anything said is corroborated, but IF the former teacher is owed an explanation at all - not really a necessary step - then the job can't be delegated. I do however, like the idea of the movie and the ice cream!;)

[svemaus]

Thanks for your encouraging words, Hazel. I’m really going to follow everyone’s advice and not quit ballet completely if I’m going to find a proper school.

But I think Major Johnson is right: I’m going to go there by myself tomorrow and talk to her in her office. I’m going to turn 19 next year and should be able to handle the situation in a mature way (this doesn’t mean that I always act like an adult cause I’m not

). Even if she’ll be offensive I won’t care because I know that I’ll be finished with that woman from the moment that I step out of the ballet school.

I think Mjr. Johnson’s book recommendation “Coping with difficult people” that I’ve read recently will be of good value in this situation cause she is difficult to handle ;) (wow, I never thought that I would ever be able to smile about that situation).

 

Thanks,

 

Svenia:)

[Mel Johnson]

Good for you, Svenia! I'm glad we here at Ballet Alert were able to help; that's what we're here for!:cool:

[Guest Hazel]

Major Johnson, I understand your meaning. I was just looking at it from the angle that Svenia might want some moral support if she thought that couldn't face any more insults from this woman. I understand what you mean though about facing up to the problem herself. I applaud Svenia for deciding to go and face her herself. I honestly don't know if I could go and face that kind of person myself.

[svemaus]

Hi Hazel!

 

This will be a matter of 5 minutes and it's ok with me as long as I don't have to finish that matter in front of the whole class...my best friend still takes lessons there and doesn't want to leave. In the end it's up to her.

 

Anyway, good luck at university for you...hopefully it will be my turn next year

 

Bye,

 

Svenia