Frustrated

[Henrik]

several persons (whos names is not spoken) are making me so upset I am going to get violent or crazy soon!!

Can anyone agree with me when im saying:??

Dancing is for myself AND the people that watch! I am dancing not only to entertain, but mostly because I like it. The entertaining is an asset of the case, but ballet is not only to entertain. For me, its like going to a shrink; I get out frustration! and feel like i achieving something each time!!

 

Not a single person the last week has agreed, somebody must feel the same? I am quite upset, its in the middle of the night (02.00) and I am overheated, I dont know if I am making myself understandable... Ill edit the message tomorrow!!!!!!! Just have to blow off some steam!

Now im going to my room to hammer on my guitar for a while. With volume at top! ill awake the entire neighbourhood, but hell..

[Mel Johnson]

I think I can relate to what you're saying, Henrik. Obviously, your dancing is being criticized, and not just how you dance, but that you dance at all! Further, these people mean something to you, and you would rather have their favorable opinion of your activities rather than their disapproval.

 

It's tough to deal with, but when it happens, you just have to say to yourself, "I love them, but they just don't understand what it's about." Keep the "I love them" first, at all times, and even when you get very frustrated with them, then it will be more difficult to become so angry that you lose control and say something that you'll regret later on. It takes patience, and a thick skin, and the soul of a saint, but I'm sure you have the ability to acquire those things, if you don't already have them.

[Guest mic31]

It's been my opinion that most people just don't get it. The people who give you headaches are probably people who shouldn't be guiding you anyway. If your goal is to become a dancer then only your teachers opinion matters.

Sometimes people mean well and try to give you there opinion, but dance is a funny thing.

People who love to dance love it for internal reasons. I always feel like my classes keep me centred. When people can't understand that ,it can be a little bit taxing. Accept them for who they are, love them for who they are, but when it comes to your life in dance, the rule has to be that if they are not qualified to talk to you about it then you need to know who to listen to and put the negative in it's proper place.

I hope than helps

 

michel

[Mel Johnson]

You said it all, mic! I can't add anything to it!

[Guest mic31]

I guess that I hit the wrong button this was suppose to be a response to henriks message...it seems that I've started a whole new thread sorry for the confusion

[Mel Johnson]

I think I can combine them. No prob.

[2 Left Feet]

There's a guy who can only make my Friday class. He's a hoot. We both have stressful jobs. He came up with this great phrase we now repeat at the beginning of each class: Body on, Mind off. It's thearpy for me as well.

 

I don't want to perform or entertain, but thats an aspect of dance, any art for that matter. Dance is a deeply personal thing. If you can share it, great. As long as I wak out of a class feeling like I've achieved something, be it naling a combination, a clean pirouette or two, or simply having allowed myself to relax enough to feel free to move with the music, I feel like I've accomplished something.

 

Now if my schedule would allow me to get to class today, I'd be a happy camper. There's always tomorrow.

[Henrik]

thanks so much for all the response. Mel, Mic, you both figured my (somewhat unreadable text) exellent. it was mostly my girlfriend that gave me a hard time. I said i might going to move to another city to the summer, to go to school,and she said something like: "dance is good, i like that you dance, but seriously... you cant mean youre going to try to become a DANCER? dancing is more entertaining than a thing you live of, doing everyday"

I got mad frustrated, but I cant really take it all out on her either, im sure she didnt mean anything wrong about it.... It just totally crashed with my opinion! But its better now. I talked to her and we agreed in talking more about it when that time comes! But shes not the only one with that opinion... and that frustrates me...

But thanks again for all response!

[citibob]

Henrik... get used to people with that attitude, that dance is all fun and games and not a "real" career. Just about every dancer, man or woman, gets it from someone.

 

I'm a professional dancer with a company that had 25 weeks of employment over the last year. I have made the kinds of life sacrifices that any dancer must make to attain that level.

 

We had a "meet the dancers" performance last week. As I was asked to do, I was talking with the guests afterwards.

 

One of the guests also noticed I almost have a PhD in Computer Science. We discussed it briefly. Then he said "Dance must be a nice outlet." I couldn't believe it. Even though this guy had just seen me dance, and he had never seen me in the lab, he immediately thought of me "primarily" as a geek and "secondarily" as a dancer, like it's some sort of hobby. I have sacrificed WAY too much, and achieved WAY too much, to call dance a "nice outlet".

 

I also understand what you mean about not really dancing primarily for the audience. I often feel that way too (although sometimes I feel more amenable to the audience).

 

Ballet is so often misunderstood in so many ways. You can't let that stop you; after all, it's your life and you only live it once. Best of luck with your new school!

[Guest Antony]

Originally posted by citibob

One of the guests also noticed I almost have a PhD in Computer Science.

 

How have you managed to have both lives, as it were? You must have spent a good proportion of your time training to become a professional dancer, but I can't imagine you became a computer expert just on night classes either. However you did it, I'm envious.....

 

A.

[citibob]

As long as you're asking, here's how (briefly):

 

I started computers early. I danced as a child, but not well. I finished a Master's Degree. Against all odds and at high cost, I acquired professional dance training at a late age. I was lucky as well. In the process, I gave up my social life and my free time. I work almost 7 days/week, and have for three years. I try to retain my humanity through it all.

[Ed McPherson]

citibob-

 

I have debated this question too many times with male and female ballet friends alike,

 

"Is it possible to have a dedicated top notch ballet carrer, while haveing a dedicated wife, or husband for that matter?"

 

It seems that with your ability to multitask your would have a better vantage point than most.

[citibob]

What do you mean by "top notch" career? My company currently has about 25 weeks of work per year. Plenty of companies have more. If you increase the length of the season and add touring to it, you find a lot less time for other things; it would be harder to maintain a science career with that schedule. Then again, those kinds of companies actually pay a living wage.

 

I have a dedicated wife, and I am dedicated to her. We don't get to see each other nearly enough. She is in school in New York, and I am dancing in Boston. It sucks.

 

But my roommates are from Bulgaria. Their mother is in Bulgaria while their father works in Western Europe. That is common in Bulgaria, which has no economy to speak of these days. So you see, life can be worse.

[Guest Leigh Witchel]

Ed -

 

Lord knows I wasn't a top-tier dancer, but I've seen a few on TV and one or two even return my phonecalls.

 

It gets easier to juggle dance and life as you get older. When you're starting a career and firming up your technique, the devotion you need to succeed is nearly monastic, but you know that. There's a lot you give up, and you gain other things in return. As you gain experience (and you get older) you won't be talking twice daily class all the time (you're rehearsing) and you'll find, believe it or not, that life has a symbiosis with dance - you need the experience the outside world brings you - falling in love, falling out of love, travelling, going to museums, voting, gardening, arguing about politics and religion, all of it to make you a complete human - and your humanity is what you bring as artistry to your technique.

 

Many dancers I know are in relationships. Many have children. You find the time. And it doesn't make you less of a dancer. This is the right time to think about almost nothing but dance for you. There will be a broader horizon as well as time goes by!

 

And Henrik, turn down that guitar please. You'll wake the neighbors More seriously, even annoying people get less annoying over time. We're all with you on how dance makes us feel. That's why we do it. You're not alone. But please don't carry a club in your dance bag to clout annoying Norwegians. It's not very princely. REAL princes have the servants carry clubs in their bags to clout people for the princes!