:*(

[Hopefuldancer]

I have a major problem...

 

Ok, theres this girl in my ballet class.. I don't know what her problem is but she keeps saying all this really offending stuff about me.. It can totally be off topic like- "You need to brush your teeth more often!"

 

And today I was practicing fouettes on my own and showing what all I learned to another girl when she comes up and saids "Theres no such things as those.." And I'm like "Uhh.. yes there is.." "How come our teacher hasn't taught us?" "Because in their book your not advanced enough yet." and that last comment I said(which was totally not meant in an offensive matter) really lit her head on fire with madness..

 

I even heaRD her talking about me behind my back.. making fun because of my age in relation to the other students...

 

But worst of all, her distraction caused me to mess up rewally bad in class. What happens? Teacher calls my name out and fusses about how I can't keep up with a "simple" combination(shes REALLY starting to annoy me also).

 

What do I do? I know this happens all the time.. I came home from class today crying cause I'm REALLY sensitive and it doesn't take much to get me depressed.

 

I'm almost tempted to switch studios so I can be put with my own age group...

[Mel Johnson]

How old is this little twirp? Because however old she is, she's being childish. You present some sort of a threat to her, whether it be technical, social, or even that you're more attractive than she is. Her sniping is an attempt to undermine your self-confidence, and so far, it seems to be working. Count on her doing it some more. Next time it happens, you can surface her hostility, and chances are, she'll chicken out. Just say calmly, "That sounds like a slam, did you mean it that way?" The more you do that, the worse off her position becomes, because she can't go on the offensive without looking like a troublemaker. You may have a Sherman Tank personality in disguise, who doesn't care if she's thought of as a bully, but from what you've told me, I doubt that. Give it a try and tell us how it works out.

[Guest SpiritIvy]

A lot of studios don't put up with people talking behind others backs or being rude like that- I know of some that even have no tolerance policies. If what Mr. Johnson said to do doesn't work, try talking to your teacher.

 

I know how you feel, definatly- I have a similar problem. It's hard for me to stand up sometimes because I am sensitive, too. It's definatly not being chicken to talk to your teacher about it. If she is doing this to other students, too, then it DEFINATLY needs to be addressed. Sometimes letting an adult intervine is a good thing. It's not tattling, because if she truely is hurting your feelings, that's not right, and something has to be changed. I'd suggest trying Mr. Johnson's idea first, if nothing changes then talk to your teacher.

[Hopefuldancer]

Thank you both... Shes 12.. I'm 16. But as I can recall, when I was 12 I never even dared to hurt someones feelings like that.

 

She has been doing the same thing to another student(who I've become good friends with).. Just saying weird, outrageous things to her. I know because when I was rehearsing the nutcracker she came over to me and said "See that girl over there? Shes a snob!"

 

I think shes jealous of me because I have progressed really fast having only one year of training... I am more advanced pointe wise compared to her.. And I love to dance. Sometimes when everyone else is putting their pointe shoes(it only takes 5 sec for me) on, I'll move over to the center and start dancing to whatever comes first simply because I LOVE ballet... and I think that she thinks I'm trying to show off- but I'm not that kind of person.

 

Can you believe she thought I was making fouettes up?!?!?! You'd think shes never seen a ballet performance!

 

Thanks for the suggestions, I will definitely use them. I'm gonna try and avoid talking to her by staying as far away as possible! I just hope my teacher doesn't get a bad opinion of me because I messed up so badly yesterday, but when I'm mad I can't think straight!

[Guest Katrina_54]

This girl sounds like she has a really low self-esteem, and has to put down other people to make her feel better about her self. I cant believe that she is 12!! She sounds really immature for her age!! Just ignore her, and show that you don't sink to her level, and maybe she'll find somebody else to bother. But I still think you should let your teacher know what's going on, just so she's aware of it.

Good luck:)

 

Katrina

[Guest ballet princess]

I have a problem exactly like yours! It has to do with this girl in my ballet class. She always gives me dirty looks and talks about me behind my back. I dont know what she told the class last thursday, because I ended up alone at the barre. It gets me really upset and I cried when I came home. Now everyone in my ballet class is calling me a teachers pet because my ballet teacher keeps me after class to talk to me about school, ballet auditions, etc. Everytime she makes me demonstarte something they all give me looks. Except my best friend Diana. Its really annoying.

[Victoria Leigh]

Katrina is right on here. The child has a problem. But, you can choose NOT to allow it to be your problem. I would think that a 16 year old could rather easily blow off a 12 year old, and just totally ignore her, realizing of course that the problem is hers, not yours. (I also agree that making the teacher aware that there is a trouble maker in class is a good idea.)

 

Ballet princess, it's a shame that there is not an atmosphere of support in your class. This is also something that can be encouraged by the teacher. Whenever I pull out someone for special correction, or to demonstrate something because it was well done, the whole class applauds when they finish doing it. This happens when they get the correction and then improve what they were doing as well as when someone is demonstrating. They are very supportive of each other. You can help by trying to be very supportive of others when they do something well. Set the example, and perhaps they will follow

[Guest ballet princess]

I do support them, just they dont always support me. Which isn't a fair deal. But my friend goes to the same school as the girl who started all this so shes going to tell her that what she's doing isn't nice.

My ballet teacher realized it and she's been trying to encourage more support.

[Hopefuldancer]

yeah..

 

She might be jealous cause I have the highest extension, most strength.. I dunno.

 

I know I'm too old to be worrying about it, but I have major depression and it can be set off by the slightest things

 

Kids these days are just OBNOXIOUS! even the older ones! I mean, my friend is a figure skater and this kid for no reason poked her in the stomach after a meet and said "YOUR FAT!!!!"

 

..rolls eyes..

[Mel Johnson]

Which is an ideal time for the pre-programmed response, "Aaaaaa, yer mother wears combat boots!";)

[Guest ballet princess]

same here! i also have the highest extension in my class!

I agree with you so much that kids could be really mean to each other sometimes. And for no good reason! Big deal if we have higher extensions or could do more turns.

My friend talked to the girl that started all the hate towards me and she said, "why can't she just stop showing off and doing multiple turns? You cant blame me for hating her." I dont get it! what does she want me to do keep my leg at 45 dgrees and do singles, when i'm capable of a higher then 90 degree extension and doing more than one turn? I dont think it works that way!

[Victoria Leigh]

Okay, ladies, I think we have had quite enough of this kind of total immaturity around here. This is silly dressing room gossip and not at all about ballet, ballet technique, or performances. The initial posts have been dealt with and I don't think we need any more of this topic. There is no time and place in the ballet world for this nonsense. Get over it and go to class to learn and to dance. What some other very insecure and immature child is doing is irrelevant. Topic closed.